Ask Linda Anything!
MY MOM SENT THIS TO ME AND MY 4 SIBLINGS TONIGHT!
Submitted By Anonymous
We have dinner at Mom and Dad's house at least twice a month. My parents are in their 70s but they act like they are in their 50s. My Dad is 76 and still works at the hospital 3 times a week. He was Chief of Surgery for a few hospitals before he retired. His job was more of a vocation than a profession and he worked 14 hour days and took only 2 weeks off a year during his entire medical career. He he was the one who would always take care of those who could only pay with a box of homemade cookies. Suffice to say we ate well at Christmas!
We had a happy childhood without a lot of material possessions and looked forward to those two weeks vacation which we would split between the New Jersey Shore and our Grandparents house in Hazelton, Pa. I tell my own teenagers that we would climb coal mines and pick huckleberries for fun and they look at me like we lived back in 200,000 B.C.
My mom still pretty much, runs the Byzantine Catholic church, Holy Ghost, where my siblings and I spent much of our childhood and teenage years; singing in the choir, baking traditional Eastern European foods, dancing in the Ukrainian dance troop (yes, I can still do Russian kicks) and participating in traditional, Slovak masses. Traditions in my family are sacred, to say the least.
Mom is exceedingly humble but very much the Matriarch of the family who feels comfortable expressing her feelings directly and in creative ways and I like that.
Tonight I received this (below) from Mom, along with my siblings and I am now looking at my calendar to make that space for dinner and a movie. Maybe you will too after you read this below:
BEING A MOTHER
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to
dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves
you and would love to spend some time with you."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been
a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked?
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a
surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I
responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervo us
about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her
hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my
friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,"
she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.
My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I
had to read the m enu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through
the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A
nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu
when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me
return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation- -nothing extraordinary
but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much
that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but
only if you let me invite you ." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice.
Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so
suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt
from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid
this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless,
I paid for two plates - one for you and the ot her for your wife. You will
never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU"
and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because
these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
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