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Dealing With Mean Girls!
Suffice it to say, I've carried this sense of distrust towards other women throughout my life, which has ultimately colored my adult relationships. Of course with my daughter I wanted her to have a clean, blank slate and form her own judgments about girls based on experiences that were not tainted by memories of my own. And to that end I was doing pretty well, until she hit the nine year mark. And that's when it started.
My daughter , once a joyful, bubble of exuberance stepping into the car after a long day at school, halfway through third grade began to greet me at pickup with a sullen face. When I'd ask her what was the matter she would say nothing, which as a nine year old is code for being overloaded with feelings she simply couldn't process and find a way to articulate to me. I let it go. I didn't want to meddle, I didn't want to be that mother who micromanages her daughter's every thought and interaction. And then finally she told me it was a girl. One girl in particular who was mean. In her words "really mean". Each day when she arrived at school plucky, eager to seize the day, this girl would manage to suck the happy right out of her. My daughter proceeded to tell me, if this girl orders weren't heeded she would proceed to systematically get the rest of the girls against her, would hurl insults at her on a regular basis and was simply making her time at school a living nightmare.
Initially my mama bear instincts were unleashed and I wanted to call this girl's mother's and give her my two cents—but I thought better of it and restrained my impulses to launch into a full on attack. Here is what I told my daughter, the best thing to do is walk away. Don't give in to her threats, don't listen to her negativity. I know it's hard to deal with this and while I want to make it all go away—getting through this situation will prepare you for dealing with future relationships and friendships. This is a great lesson in understanding the kinds of people you want in your life and those you need to stay away from.
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